Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation and things start to get a bit heated? Maybe it was with your parents, your best friend or significant other.
You knew you were getting close to the point of no return.
You were nearing the point in which a full on argument was going to break out. You knew that if you kept pushing, kept talking and kept trying to prove your point that things were going to get bad.
I’ve definitely been there. I’m married. I have been in those conversations when I know I have gone too far and now it’s all over!
Warning lights should go off right before you get to that point, to protect all involved!
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. Proverbs 17:14
There is a lot of wisdom in this proverb. Many times we start a quarrel to get a reaction from someone or to overpower them and prove our point. We tend to lose in the end because we went too far. The reality is that when an argument breaks out no one wins, there are just two losers.
Our best bet when we begin to have an argument is to take a break before a dispute breaks out.
Cooler heads always prevail.
When we are frustrated we make mistakes, we say things we don’t mean and we do things we regret.
This is because frustrations put us in our fight or flight mode and most of us choose fight. Once in fight mode we don’t think of the feelings of the other person. There is now no interest in collaboration or peace.
The only interest left is winning.
Once again in these moments we should heed the wisdom in Proverbs 17 and drop the matter.
Take some time to cool down. Once you have done this, you will be ready to collaboratively work together to reach unity.
This principal can work in any relationship, in marriage, co-worker relations and between friends.
An argument can take on its own momentum. When two people don’t see things the same way, they desire to be right or prove their point can take over. That is why it is best to stop the argument before a dispute breaks out.
Your reputation is the most important asset you own. The way you carry yourself during a disagreement or argument builds your reputation. Choose how you are seen, by dropping the matter before a dispute breaks out.