Have you ever met someone who never accepted responsibility for anything? Everything was always someone else’s fault. There is always a reason for why things didn’t go as planned and it’s always outside of their control.

These people are always the victim of circumstances and other people’s choices.

Playing the victim is easy. It is the lowest common denominator in our thinking. It is easy, cheap, and costs nothing. 

The victim never needs to take responsibility for anything, because everything is always someone else’s fault. 

The victim mentality is simple. It comes quick and overstays its welcome. It is never at fault, is hopeless, lacks creativity, is poor and feels entitled. How to overcome the victim mentality Paul Jolicoeur

The reality is that life hurts sometimes. People make mistakes and in the process we hurt each other without even knowing it.

Sometimes we are the victim of others’ poor choices. These hurts should never be ignored, however they should never be an excuse.

Here are 4 ways to overcome the victim mentality:

Accept Your Past

I know it’s easier to say it than to actually do, so this is not a flippant, get over quick senseless comment. The reality is that until you accept your past you will continue to be tied to it.

Like the anchor to a ship, it will drag behind you and keep you from going where you want to be.

Some of what happened to you in the past was awful. You didn’t deserve it and no one should have treated you like that, but if you don’t move on, it is you who will suffer. You will hold yourself back and never reach your full potential.

Get Help:

Sometimes we can’t just simply get over it. We want to move forward, but we feel like the past is a weight holding us down. It is in these moments when we need to reach out.

This could be a small group of friends you can be vulnerable with. It could be a friend or a professional counselor.

Being hurt myself and seeing people I love overcome past hurts, I know the reality is for some this will be a process what will require the “all of the above” option.

If you want to move forward on this earth, you are going to have to make the decision to get up and move forward. ONLY YOU can make that decision. Once you make that decision others can come around you to help.

Take Responsibility For Your Part

Many people have made decisions that have left them where they are today. They blame outside influences on their life when the reality is they are who they are today because of the life they have built, for good or worse.

Every pound I haven’t loss is because of me, not because McDonalds makes their food too fatty or delicious!

Taking responsibility for the past is about owning the decisions you have already made. Until you do that, there is no way to move forward.

Until you own the results of your actions, you cannot make the necessary changes to make the course corrections you desire.

Own Your Future:

If you are given the gift of tomorrow, own it.

Put your name on it, take responsibility for what you do and how you react to the things happen.

Only in the confines of today can you build the life you desire.

Ultimately the victim mentality puts the blame and responsibility of the direction of your life in someone else’s arms. However, your happiness, fulfillment and comfort are not based on the actions and desires of someone else.

This life if yours. Own it.

Fill in the blank:

To overcome the victim mentality one must ____________ .

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